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As mentioned before, you probably shouldn't actually discuss this, but early on in the dating process, you should figure out what you want from the relationship. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, set some long-term dates, like going to Sky Tree on Christmas or a romantic getaway to Okinawa during summer vacation.If you are looking for something casual, keep it casual and avoid meeting friends and family. What happens when your study abroad, volunteer, or internship experience is over?”I get this question a lot from Japanese women—even strangers on the train.They tell me that they want to meet a white, American man (“…and do you have any friends you can introduce me to? Western men seem to be this mythical dating specimen that grants “Happily Ever After” within three dates. But a lot of Western men don’t respect their wives, either.Fear not, scratch your head in bewilderment no longer – as myself, Grace (famous for her “My Japanese Husband Thinks I’m Crazy” story) and Martin of Asian Dating Monthly have put our heads together and distilled our combined two decades of Japanese dating experience to bring you these top tips, which will help you navigate the seas of romance in Japan.

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However, people have this idea so fixed in their heads that when they meet a foreign woman (me) happily married to a Japanese man (my husband), they have to press the issue. And demonizing the Japanese male population as “sexist pigs who cheat on their wives and have gender images stuck in the ’60s” is pretty offensive.Intercultural relationships often have difficulties when it comes to communication.You don’t have to talk about all of these things with each dating partner, but you should definitely think about it especially with one that seems like it could evolve into a relationship. Are you looking for a casual hookup, a friend with benefits, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a future marriage partner?If you are planning on continuing the relationship, you might need to set boundaries and long term goals for the relationship.My husband and I got married in America and shortly thereafter moved to Japan—where I proceeded to run headfirst into all sorts of unintentionally offensive questions and comments. And I’m not going to argue with the idea that Japan is sexist.




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