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In my experience, these people had amicable divorces, no children, grown children, minimum, no or only friendly contact with their ex-spouses.

If you are on the fence about whether or not it is too soon for you and/or your date to date after divorce, I suggest taking time to figure out what’s best for you and/or to take dating after divorce slowly so you can see how you feel while on/with a date.

” If this is the question you are asking, here is the response I give most often when asked the question by recently divorced men and women who are thinking about jumping back into the dating pool.

If you are asking whether or not it’s too soon to date after divorce the answer probably is, “Yes, it’s too soon to date after divorce.” But how can you know for sure?

Of course there are some men and women who are, or will be, ready and able to date soon after divorce.

Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.

Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .

You are likely to take some of the “stand-in” damage for the anger that needs a place to dissipate. But pay attention to how this person deals with these setbacks or conflicts. In my experience, I find a potential partner who has had kids (they can be older or younger than mine) is more likely to be accepting and accommodating of my relationship to my kids. Sure, it’s an interruption, and sure it puts the “special friend” in a secondary role, but it’s clear to me that my kids emotional and physical well-being is much more important than me having a girlfriend.

It’s likely this is how any future conflict with you might evolve, as well. At least at this point in my life, while they are still in school, and still very much under my influence.

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When the director of my documentary on marriage asked me which of my ex-boyfriends I would like to interview on camera, I told him, "We're going to have to hire an actor." I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

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